UChi Bizarre-ketplace: March 2009

Trying to get pregnant?
Speak to Me in Foucault!
Robert Pape's *Bombing to Win*

Most of the listings on UChi Marketplace—the University’s version of Craigslist—are fairly banal: books for sale, rooms to rent, the kind of thing that would have appeared on fliers in an earlier era. But like everything on the Internet, the easier it is to post, the easier it is to be weird. Here are excerpts from last month’s more remarkable listings, as selected by an unscientific poll (sample size: me).


Do you desire a giant, hulking blue behemoth to take up your entire living room and to leer evilly at visitors amongst your furniture?

WELL LOOK NO FURTHER! I have discovered in MY VERY OWN APARTMENT a bean bag that suits your exact needs! My bean bag is about four feet in diameter when sat upon. It is the shade of blue that you could only know once you have experienced the sort of mind-numbing terror that causes you to forget your family, your friends and yea, your very name.

Reader: if this is the sort of bean bag you are looking for, you should be astonished that I am not asking for more than a mere $25 to take it! The dark murmurings of another dimension are simply no longer fitting in with the rest of my voodoo ensemble. You have to be the one to pick it up, though.

Almost 25 LB of white flour

We have a mostly-full 25-pound bag of white flour. We regret that we cannot deliver. The flour is offered as-is, without any warranty of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose.

Yiddish and Big Band Records-AWESOME.

As the last remaining member of my family with a basement, I have come to take possession of my great-uncle's 78 collection. If you have an ancient phonograph and feel that your Yiddish music collection is lacking, make me an offer.

teach me some basic acupuncture

My boyfriend and I would like to learn a few acupuncture techniques from an experienced practitioner to treat our classic U of C ailments: headache, back ache, anxiety, and insomnia. We'd like some advice on a good manual to buy, and we'd like one or more demonstrations/lessons on how to find the right spots and how to use the needles.

FREE: front door

Was the front door to my apartment. Possible uses: Replace your own front door. Set on bricks or trestles for an unusual desk. Saw into shelves. Make something for FOTA. Who knows? The possibilities are limited only by your imagination, and perhaps your tool collection. Pickup only. Thanks.

Oh, wait. That last one’s mine. Anybody want a door?

For more from UChi Bizarre-ketplace, check UChiBLOGo the last Friday of each month and the next issue of the Core, the College supplement to the University of Chicago Magazine, available in late May.

Carrie Golus, AB’91, AM’93

March 27, 2009