UChi Bizarre-ketplace: April 2009

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I’m not a stalker, OK? Well, I try not to be. But the Internet makes it so easy. It started out innocently enough. While browsing UChi Marketplace, I found myself wondering, what’s a baby mini lop?

WANTED: Baby Mini Lop Ready Early- to Mid-July
I am moving into an apartment in July and would love a baby mini lop bunny. Ideally, I would like a small dog, but my busy schedule does not allow me the time to walk a dog. I have owned two bunny rabbits for 5 years now, but they’re in Mississippi with my parents since I am away in College. If you know anyone who is selling or giving away baby mini lops, I will take up to two.

Intriguing. So I thought I’d look at the other five listings she had up. Is that so wrong?

WANTED: Puppy or Small Dog
I’m looking for a small dog or puppy (that will grow no larger than 35lbs.). However, I will not be able to get the dog until early to mid-July because I will not move into my apartment until then, so if your dog is having puppies soon or you know about one that will, please let me know!

She’s moving into an apartment in July—that we know. But I thought she wouldn’t have time to walk a dog…? So I had to keep looking.

WANTED: Various Furniture
I will be moving into an apartment at the beginning of July, and I need furniture in good, usable condition. I would prefer that the items come from pet-free environments.

OK, she’s still moving into an apartment in July; that’s consistent. But she wants furniture from pet-free environments? What, so it’s in good enough shape to be scratched and chewed by a puppy or small dog or up to two mini lops?

I make a mental note not to buy any used furniture from this person in a year or so when her lease goes up. For the time being, this is her only for-sale listing.

Designer perfume, body splash, and lotion/books for Uchicago classes/Miscellany

I can’t imagine what UChicago classes you need lotion/books for. I know there are alumni of a certain age who think they’ve dumbed down the Core, but come on.

Carrie Golus, AB’91, AM’93

For more from UChi Bizarre-ketplace, check UChiBLOGo the last Friday of each month and the next issue of the Core, the College supplement to the University of Chicago Magazine, available in late May.

April 24, 2009